Hey there. So I have been working very hard and so I thought that I would let you in on what is to come with the new book that I paln on having out before the end of the year.
It is called
Ghost Am I
And so here I give you a taste with
Chapter One
Andrea
GHOST AM I
Chapter One: Andrea
It was over, her life. Her physical death had happened and there was nothing she could do about that. This coma was happening and that is what she concentrated on, although the brutality of her death still crept up on her. Every time it left her gasping for air and kept her spiritual body, although it still felt human to her, jerking away from the memory of the pain and the sheer terror of her murder.
Andrea’s husband, Alex, was always there by her side and she could never leave him.
Especially not now in the state of mind he was in, he cried so much and it broke her heart every single moment. Andrea knew that he thought that she was still alive in there. The madness was, she was, just not in that body the machines now lived for.
Her mom and dad came every single day Her Dad would sit on one side of her bed and her mom on the other. They would hold her hands, cry and pray. Her mom would even rub lotion on her hands because they were getting so dry. She read to her and talked to her and it was hard, it was painful for Andrea to watch them go through that pain. All she could do was wait patiently for that moment when they would just let her body go and realize that she was already gone.
“Dad! Daddy! Oh god, daddy. I am so sorry that I had to leave you Daddy. I remember you telling me that you couldn’t go through losing another child. I remember promising you from my heart that I never would. Daddy, I need you to hear me. Please Daddy!” Andrea pleaded on her knees and wept so hard so many times.
She would touch her mother’s shoulders and let her hands linger there just to see what would happen and without ever realizing what she was doing; her mother would always reach up and touch her shoulder where Andrea’s hands were, every single time.
"Mom, it's me. Can't you hear me? Can't you feel me? I'm right here, Mom. Not in my body but I'm right here. Let my body go. I won't leave you but you need to let my body die. My body is already gone, Mom! Please hear me."
Her mom, she felt, should hear her. Alex could hear her though. She knew he could because she could wake him up.
Alex would fall asleep holding her hand.
“Alex, hear me. I need you. I’m scared. I don’t what I am doing here and I don’t know how long I will be here, but I need you. Please hear me.”
Alex would always wake up. “Andrea? Andrea? Where are you babe?”
But then, it was always as if some stupid logic would take over and he believed it was all in his head. Andrea decided that the only way to reach him would be in his sleep. So, every time he slept, she whispered into his ear for him to turn off the machines.
It took a long time but it finally happened. Alex and Andrea’s family were finally able to let her go after six long months. They gathered in the room, all together with tears in their eyes and finally accepted the moment. The doctors let Alex turn off the machine. It only took a moment, as her chest finally settled and refused to rise again and then they wept. In that moment, Alex reached down and kissed her cheek and told her that he loved her and then finally released her hand and turned away. Her mom and dad did the same. Andrea tried so hard to tell them that she was still there but no one heard her. It made her feel so afraid, being in this non-physical state all alone. No one knew that she was there watching them. She felt like a scared child wanting so badly to crawl in her mommies arms and watch the scary things just melt away.
It was over, her life just gone. Andrea sat in the car with Alex as he drove home from the hospital. The day matched the mood. Rain came down in a constant drizzle; the temperature just cold enough to keep the windows attempting to fog up, fighting with the defroster. It almost looked like a scary dark October night within a March day. Andrea stayed in the house with Alex, right by his side. He was having such a hard time dealing with this. I think he just instantly went from sorrow and anguish to anger and revenge. Andrea could feel it in every part of him. That determination would be the fire that would drive him each and every day until he finally receives some sort of closure. Anger was the one thing that she knew in her heart would replace his anguish. Andrea also knew that him losing his cool about this just may take him too if he doesn’t get control over it. She felt his frustration. It felt massive.
*****
Andrea was there, at the cemetery, to watch her own funeral. Intense emotions racked the body and mind of her spirit. She felt so much sorrow inside her as the whispers of her breaking heart enveloped all sound from her ears. Shock stood front and center and her stability was shaken as the realization that she was actually dead entered her spiritual bloodstream. There was no coming back from this and nothing in her life can be finished for her life had gone from a headstrong force into the face of life to an instant unexpected brick wall of dead, over, life snuffed out.
There were so many people at her funeral that it really surprised her and she was in awe of the love that these people felt for her that she would now, never know. Alex was there along with his family and hers. Andrea stood in front of each and every person, feeling their sadness and mourning for the love that they shared with her. And then suddenly, as instantly as her death, out of nowhere, she felt heat prickle the hairs on the back of her neck and she felt a shock that sent all within her sight to white, a deep burning white, her heart pounded and her very breath was being taken away. She started swinging her body around to see what was creating all of this emotion within her when, at the very moment that she turned, she felt that she was falling. Feeling exactly as she did the night that she died. She felt as if she was about to come face to face with the evil which brought this death upon her. Whatever her existence was, her breath was stuck in her throat and every muscle in her body spasmed like lightning bolts running through her entire body. She shrunk away, wrapping her arms around herself, wanting badly to run and hide inside herself where nothing can find her. Her head swam and her anger swelled. She felt like she needed to scream. Scream loud and hard. And all of this emotion burned like a volcano inside of her as she was turning to face the person that was giving off all of this feeling inside of her. All of this was exploding inside of her before she ever completed the turn and, as the turning of clogs inside the heart of a clock, Andrea and the man standing directly behind her turned to face one another as if he were in anticipation of seeing someone too. But then, Andrea became confused. Every part of her being told her that she was looking at the very man that did this to her, to her family but all she saw was a normal man. Not the man that murdered her, not at all. This man was a very well postured man with a stately stance. This man was well dressed and well groomed, a very respectful looking man. He didn’t even come close to resembling the size or the shape of her killer. It seemed impossible to her that this could possibly be that man. He never felt her nor did she cross the threshold of his mind before he moved on. That man certainly was not what made her feel that way. Confused, she forced herself to turn away and run, hard and fast and as she did she felt a strength rush into her heart and within her mind, she flew. She needed desperately to get far away from all of this. She needed help and before she realized what was happening, she was somewhere else. That somewhere else just so happened to be standing beside her College roommate Joyce’s grave. Joyce had died with her that night. They had been apart for so long. She had been Andrea’s best friend during all of those years in college. They were actually part of a team, a strong tight sister team. There had been three of them but then, something horrible happened and then there were only the two. The one they lost, her name was Audrea. She was murdered and not just murdered but brutally slain. Her death was terrifying and gruesome.
After a late Friday night party at a frat house she had turned up missing. Joyce and Andrea had seen her with this guy and somehow they just knew that there was something wrong with him but Audrea couldn’t see it. All she could see was that he was tall, dark and handsome and had a motorcycle. The party turned wild. There were young students and non-traditional students running, screaming, hollering, laughing and dancing everywhere. Girls where hurling in the bathrooms anywhere there was somewhere to do it, fixing make-up and gabbing up the night. Make-out sessions were going on everywhere and Audrea was nowhere to be found. They had been trying to keep up with the party, have a good time and keep up with Audrea. The last they saw she had been in the bathroom doing the throw-up, make-up, tooth brush thing and then they followed her to where she had been hanging out with this guy. Guys found girls, girls found guys and the dancing commenced. Someone had turned the lights way down low and then, she just disappeared. They couldn’t find her anywhere. She disappeared with that motorcycle guy, off into the night and that was the last time that they ever spoke to her again. They had tried desperately and in vein to find her. Three days later, a college group that had been out hiking found her body. She had been brutally murdered. Raped, stabbed and found hung in a tree. Her eyes had never been closed and she was naked for the whole world to see. Her stomach had been cut open and it was learned later by the medical examiner that she had been three weeks pregnant. It was so hard to believe. Her death was so hard to except.
She had been the strongest one in the group. She had been the “self-esteem builder” of our group. Andrea was the “silly, wild, get everyone in a lot trouble and have lots of fun” person and Joyce was the “sexy man magnet”.
Joyce never really seemed to recover from Audrea’s death. She dropped out of college, never married or ever had children. She lived alone, worked a menial job and stayed to herself. She never talked to Andrea agsin until right before they both died. Andrea knew that Joyce blamed herself. She once said that she felt like because she was the oldest she should have looked out for Audrea better. They worked with the police for months afterwards trying to find the person responsible for her murder but, after so many dead ends and barely any leads to go on, the police finally filed the case away cold. The man she had left the party with that night was eventually found and walked with an alibi for the time of death and said that they had parted ways. Andrea never gave up though. She even devoted her career to finding Audrea’s killer and she was bound to never quit looking. Not to the day of her death and now she knew the truth. But, now she was dead. She faced that realization but, to be dead and still here was going to need some explaining or just some understanding. She was bound in her heart to find a way to help Joyce and Audrea rest in peace.
Someone else was there also, a man Andrea did not recognize but then, she did feel some sort of déjà vu as she contemplated his face. He was tall and had beautiful dark reddish brown, shoulder length hair, his complexion, pale but with brilliant color in his lips of red and eyes of blue. There was something about him that felt a little familiar and a little captivating. He had this magnificent strong masculine chin line with high cheekbones. He wore this long black trench coat and as Andrea walked up close to him he turned. He looked right at her. At this point Andrea was scared to death because he was facing her and then he started walking towards her, still looking directly into her eyes. That was creepy but even worse; as he got closer she seen him smile, a smile that said “Yes, I see you and yes I am real and yes, there’s gonna be trouble.” Andrea tried to calm herself thinking that maybe he would just walk right around her and be gone. But, oh, that is not what happened. Their bodies came into contact and then, he spoke, and he said, “Oh yes. I see you. Do you remember me? For if not, then you will eventually for we have been given a chance to dance. I have become something quite different in my death, than I was during my life, so as you too will become but for now, you’ve been given a chance to dance with me and this dance comes with much satisfaction. We will meet again.” And then, he just turned and walked away, he just faded away and disappeared. Andrea was feeling so scared that all she could think was how bad she wished she were still alive and could still run to the safety and protection of her husband Alex.
Was that man another ghost or an angel, maybe the angel of death? She wondered if she should be afraid because somehow, that was not what she felt but somehow, just the opposite.
The funeral wrapped up. Alex had requested that everyone let him be alone and let him mourn. If there was to be a reception Audrea knew that he would want them to do it without him. Then, he sat at her grave and wept, alone.
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