What is Happening in My World Today

What’s Happening in My World Today!

Does success in your life depend on the approval of other people? If so, then how can we ever approve of ourselves or even like ourselves?

My family has never approved of anything I have ever done and I think it is because they never wanted my success to depend on the approval of other people. They wanted me to be able to be an invisible income maker, a person that can make an income completely based in the work that I did.

My first career was being a mom. My second career was music. I played a guitar, a piano and sang anything and everything. I got approval but I could not leave my kids and I never could find the right people to be with as a band or a group. Now, although I do have a good voice, nobody wants to be a part of that with me.

My next career was a regular job in a regular office doing a fairly easy job but, yeah again with the but’s, there was a man that worked there that literally wanted me gone and did not like me in any way but I had to work with him so, his goal was to make me cry every day and it worked most of the time. And then, one of the girls I worked with just out of the blue started being mean to me and when I asked her why she told me that if I couldn’t figure it out then maybe I should think about it. Well, I couldn’t figure out how being nice to her every day and supportive could make her this mad and then with all of the stress at work, my health started to fail. Two surgeries and a lot of stress pills later, I finally just quit.

My next career involved my husband and I going into business together. Five years and a bankruptcy later, we realized that we didn’t have enough capital to keep it or ever should have started it. Actually, it was due to a bank that got audited, fired everyone, froze all of our assets and accounts, stole our money and put us and many other business owners in that town out of business.

My next career was a Real Estate Agent which started out with flying colors. I passed the test with the highest scores that the state said they had ever seen, sold a million dollars’ worth of homes in my first 6 months, landed a multimillion dollar listing and then…got fired by my broker.

Then I decided to go to work for a big company and when I got the job I was excited until I found out that I was hired by corporate and there were already employees there that wanted my job and so the other employees let me know not to get too comfortable because they wanted my job and they were gonna get it no matter what they had to do to me. Trust me, a few lies and a few months later…I was demoted and demoted again and then fired.

Then, I decided to go to school at 40. I thought it would be wonderful to go to college. It was wonderful for the first three semesters. I was even on the Dean’s list and then…at the beginning of a new semester one of my instructors was so mean that he failed everything that I did within the first three weeks and I was failing math and I only made a C in theatre which I never understood because I aced every paper, every project and I was there most every day. I actually did make it through that semester but only by the skin of my teeth and not on the Dean’s list. The next semester I lost my eye site due to a little thing called Graves’ disease. I had surgery and got most of my eyesight back but then I owed money and have not been able to return, plus I got the idea stuck in my head that I went to school to find out that I was stupid, according to that one instructor. That is not what I was paying for and still paying for.

Then, you know those bad things that happen to good people? Well, a lot of those bad things happened to my husband and I. We lost our home, had to move and find another home. Three years later we lost that home because our payments went from $625.00 a month to $1500.00 a month and our income could not support that. My husband lost his job because the corporate office for the company that he worked for decided to close the doors. Then one of our boys got sick and it was a long term illness and then on top of that…I was raped.

Now, moving on…my husband has found a job that he loves although he has to fight daily for the money he earns, our children have healed and grown and left the roost and I wrote a book that I can’t seem to sell and spending my time writing another. I guess that if I submitted my work more often to real publishers instead of doing the Independent publishing thing then my writing may end up being another career and that is where we get back to the beginning of the story…my work depends on the approval of others.

Well, I guess that is how it works. To succeed, you have to meet the approval of other people and that is a very scary fact.

Please chime in…I would love to hear your thoughts or your story.

That’s all.