What’s Happening in My
World Today!
Does success in your life depend on the approval of other
people? If so, then how can we ever approve of ourselves or even like
ourselves?
My family has never approved of anything I have ever done
and I think it is because they never wanted my success to depend on the
approval of other people. They wanted me to be able to be an invisible income
maker, a person that can make an income completely based in the work that I
did.
My first career was being a mom. My second career was music.
I played a guitar, a piano and sang anything and everything. I got approval but
I could not leave my kids and I never could find the right people to be with as
a band or a group. Now, although I do have a good voice, nobody wants to be a
part of that with me.
My next career was a regular job in a regular office doing a
fairly easy job but, yeah again with the but’s, there was a man that worked
there that literally wanted me gone and did not like me in any way but I had to
work with him so, his goal was to make me cry every day and it worked most of
the time. And then, one of the girls I worked with just out of the blue started
being mean to me and when I asked her why she told me that if I couldn’t figure
it out then maybe I should think about it. Well, I couldn’t figure out how
being nice to her every day and supportive could make her this mad and then
with all of the stress at work, my health started to fail. Two surgeries and a
lot of stress pills later, I finally just quit.
My next career involved my husband and I going into business
together. Five years and a bankruptcy later, we realized that we didn’t have
enough capital to keep it or ever should have started it. Actually, it was due
to a bank that got audited, fired everyone, froze all of our assets and accounts,
stole our money and put us and many other business owners in that town out of
business.
My next career was a Real Estate Agent which started out
with flying colors. I passed the test with the highest scores that the state
said they had ever seen, sold a million dollars’ worth of homes in my first 6
months, landed a multimillion dollar listing and then…got fired by my broker.
Then I decided to go to work for a big company and when I
got the job I was excited until I found out that I was hired by corporate and
there were already employees there that wanted my job and so the other
employees let me know not to get too comfortable because they wanted my job and
they were gonna get it no matter what they had to do to me. Trust me, a few
lies and a few months later…I was demoted and demoted again and then fired.
Then, I decided to go to school at 40. I thought it would be
wonderful to go to college. It was wonderful for the first three semesters. I
was even on the Dean’s list and then…at the beginning of a new semester one of
my instructors was so mean that he failed everything that I did within the
first three weeks and I was failing
math and I only made a C in theatre
which I never understood because I aced every paper, every project and I was
there most every day. I actually did make it through that semester but only by
the skin of my teeth and not on the Dean’s list. The next semester I lost my
eye site due to a little thing called Graves’ disease. I had surgery and got
most of my eyesight back but then I owed money and have not been able to
return, plus I got the idea stuck in my head that I went to school to find out
that I was stupid, according to that one instructor. That is not what I was
paying for and still paying for.
Then, you know those bad things that happen to good people?
Well, a lot of those bad things happened to my husband and I. We lost our home,
had to move and find another home. Three years later we lost that home because
our payments went from $625.00 a month to $1500.00 a month and our income could
not support that. My husband lost his job because the corporate office for the
company that he worked for decided to close the doors. Then one of our boys got
sick and it was a long term illness and then on top of that…I was raped.
Now, moving on…my husband has found a job that he loves
although he has to fight daily for the money he earns, our children have healed
and grown and left the roost and I wrote a book that I can’t seem to sell and
spending my time writing another. I guess that if I submitted my work more
often to real publishers instead of doing the Independent publishing thing then
my writing may end up being another career and that is where we get back to the
beginning of the story…my work depends on the approval of others.
Well, I guess that is how it works. To succeed, you have to
meet the approval of other people and that is a very scary fact.
Please chime in…I would love to hear your thoughts or your
story.
That’s all.
