Dreams.... Sex, Love and the 40's

Come on SUN. Come on out and melt winter blues away. To the left is the baby truck we take out into the world to make us the money we are hoping to make to get the truck that I really want.

This is the truck I really want. Still dreaming. No new trucking news so, here is an article from my portfolio. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for the support.






Sex, Love and the 40’S


Alright boys and girls, here comes the 40th Birthday. Now hold on to your shorts, and I mean literally. A lot of people think "No big deal. I can handle this. I don't feel 40 or look 40 so why should I be 40? Right?" We think to ourselves. "Don't make it a big deal. There are more important things in my life to deal with; I am not going to get all caught up with my age!"

Then there comes the big life jolting changes. The kids Move Out. They can no longer be the center of your attention. Their lives do not revolve around you.

Then someone say's: Do you know how old that perfect twenty-something looking person is? They are 40! Then we really start looking at ourselves in the mirror and we become almost desperate to gain back that youthful glow. To be seen as sexy and hot.

Men start to experience more intense emotions. Whoah! What was that? Oh, yeah, and they become sensitive and way, way, way beyond the normal when it comes to sexual desires that start roaming around in their heads. They are 40 yr. old victims of the comeback of the 18 yr. old hormones stuck inside a much older body And, it's not “as” easy to gain relief at this age.(laugh).

The feeling of being young and single again is overwhelming, even when married, as a couple, you have the euphoria of being single again.

There have been experiences of desires that tend to be wild and crazy; incredible temptations and desires to do crazy fun wild things. Some things, that at any other time in life, most of us would never even consider. Most of the hold up or second thoughts are due to how much control we allow society to have over what you believe to be right and wrong. The thought of applying logic and reason to gain emotional stability and a person’s thoughts toward their moral virtue versus their social reputation that they allow others to see. In other words, who a person is and who they portray themselves to be in society.

Some experience intense insecurities.

Feelings of rejection seem to jump out from everywhere. Some of us would feel so, much better if someone would just say that you really are sexy!



Experiencing fantasies with each other? Better? Worse?

Turning against each other to fulfill those fantasies alone because of thoughts that the other won't understand? That is what separates us from each other. Help each other live out those fantasies. Be a part of the fantasies. That is how we grow closer together. There is nothing I can't do without my man. It's all part of the sexual experience of life. Tell your lover all your secret desires even if those desires don't involve them. You never know what kind of response could come. Being honest? Cheating? Affairs? Why?



Love. Sex. Making Love. Is there a difference. To me there is a difference. Love, you share with your partner in life. When it comes to sex? At least we always involve each other.

Guy's, has another guy ever turned you on and it freaked you out?

Girls, has a woman ever turned you on? Acted on it? Why?

Need for self assurance? Is there maybe a desperate need to be the center of attention for once?

There will be a new and improved you once we get past the issues of sharing yourself completely with another person. The partner you share your life is your best friend, your confident, your lover and the person you do all those wild and crazy things with that you could never do with anyone else. That is love, to me.

Well, back to the grindstone of trying to support my partner in his financial endeavors and his trucking business. Wish him well as he chooses to set off without me so that I can continue on with school so that when someone does see my work then they will also see that I have credentials.

Yeah! It's Winter People! There will be ICE AND SNOW.......

The day is gray. White snow is everywhere. The tree's that look sadly dead. The roads are filthy with slush and dirt, the trucks look the same. There are drivers that look tired and haggard, but, snow? they say "So what! It's snow and ice. It's always going to come and go. That never stops drivers. They keep pushing out there. That is thier job, their livelyhood. When there is work, they take it. It is scary. There have been plenty of times that I have had to close my eyes, pray and faith.


Today I have good new and bad news. The good news is that we are not out there. The bad news is that there is no work to be had. So, in this season there are a lot of people out there with the same story. This can turn into a positive thing though. Time has come for life reflections and self examinations. It all comes down to the fact that no matter what socitey does during this time of the year there will be moments where we will all be stuck. Not able to do much but think, so there is no better time to reflect on ourselves. How are we moving? Are we moving? Not much time for ruts in this life. Sometimes the direction doesn't even matter but that we are moving. Moving forward is always the best and you may be but it just doesn't feel like it.

Life changes. It can't be stopped. So maybe it's how we change with it that determines the directions we are going in our lives. I have a big question. Here goes.

IF YOUR LIFE DID NOT REVOLVE AROUND ANYONE ELSE BUT CAN ONLY BE MOVED OR CHANGED BY YOUR ACTIONS ONLY, NOT REVOLVING AROUND SOMEONE ELSE, WHO WOULD YOU BE? WHERE WOULD YOU BE?

Is that a big question or what? If you were giving the opportunity to decide what you wanted to be or do and told that your achievments would be the only way to move ahead and improve, who would you be?

I am not 100% sure but I know somehow it would have involved what I am doing now, just a lot sooner in my life. Does everything happen for a reason?

Wow, Can't you "Feel It"? It is Christmas. Yes! Overtime!

Okay so another day on the load board (that is a web site that offers loads from companies) and nothing big. So, another day of Jeff driving local and another shut-off notice. Two to be exact. Phone and internet/tv. Hey, we are keeping up the spirits. Hopefully we will get snowed in but, Jeff does not know what that means. He loves the snow and bad weather. I think he is crazy. Used to, when we did have a big truck, I could just go in the back and be in my own world, not having to pay any attention to what was going on outside, but in a "Dually" there is no privacy. There is no "back". Laugh with me. This is funny because today I am at home. The home we can't afford to keep "turned on". But, be it as it may, this is where we are. Jeff is driving and playing mechanic today and well, he will continue to work all through Christmas if he has too, I will be by his side and here with you. I plan on writing something everyday. No matter what. So, jump on in here and let me know....how are you surviving this holiday season.

                                                 Merry Christmas To All

Blue Jeans and New Beginnings

Hey, everyone out there,

I am Annie. I am a photojournalist student at UCM in Warrensburg, Missouri. I am a married, graduated parent of three grown kids and two grandaughters, those would be my angels. Jeff, that would be my husband who is a survivor. Yes, a survivor of the explosion of everything that ever had "Corporate" attatched to it and it's refugee's of the fired, and layed off for an undetermined amount of time who are scratching and clawing at the job market to make a living. That description would be for me too. That is why I am a college student at forty-two. Yeah and Whoopie and I guess what the kids are saying "It's on like Donkey Kong".???
So....

Rolling across America's highways. This is cool and it makes Jeff happy.
November 27, 2009 and we are on our way from Missouri to Michigan to go look at a truck. We are just going to see the truck and see the set-up and it was the closest one we could find. The truck was beautiful. Everything I had ever dreamed of having in a truck. It lacked the necessities we needed as in axels and a generator and a decent price to go with it. So this truck is not happening. But, we now know exactly what we are looking for. It is out there, have to have faith in the balance of the joys and struggles that the good times are bound to come.


This trip is also unusual because for the first time in a long time we were going on a very long road trip with no load to be responsible for. We had no trailer attached to our buts and had quite a bit of freedom as to the speed we got to drive, being considered a four wheeler in a dually, and where we could get in and out of. Where we could stop, not having to stop at weigh stations, it was great. I will have to admit that there is a mattress in the back seat with sheets and a comforter. It is tight, but many times, this is how was have had to live, making a living, living in the dually, hanging in there from load to load. Like gypsies. I don't want to do that, I want to have the comforts that can make this idea of living on the road an enjoyable and exciting journey in our lives.

For us the idea of being owner-operators had always been just so far out of reach for us. That is what Jeff loves to do, he loves to drive. But this is a new season in our lives. Our children have grown and are moving on with their own lives. We feel like we are being reborn again into life as a single couple that has built a lot of character over the years and has never had a chance to explore how that person fits in with society and even the idea of who we are, who have we become. We feel so free and are surprisingly going through another puberty again on a completely different level of becoming, "this age", sexually, physically; facing some of our fears, ready to find out what our dreams are and ready to face them head on. Don't just dream it, work towards making them a reality.



Jeff wants to be able to drive. To make a living driving all over the country and to see other countries on this globe. He wants to be able to spread his wings and fly without anything tying him down, restricting him, except my leash of course. And, I want to see him like that, like the man he wants to be, that gives me the experience of having the best of who he was meant to be.



I will succeed as a photojournalist, specializing in the field of ecology and documenting on regeneration studies of endangered species. You know, as in documenting those who are involved in the process of actually making it happen. I want to be out in the field with the animals and seeing them in their own environments and the possibility of saving some of them from the intrusion of human life moving into and destroying their environments. I want to document and report on the restoration process of many of our natural environments, the habitants that are supposed to naturally thrive there to help restore the ecosystem of these areas that can be restored.

Till then, this is what I am going to do. Take any of you along who want to find out what would happen if you just "Did It." Just jump out there and chase a dream.